We talk often about the physical symptoms, but not enough of the emotional symptoms that toxicity creates. The anxiety we know is low blood volume. It is an outcome of SFPN. Unfortunately, we still have too many doctors trying to tell us that our anxiety is causing our symptoms versus trying to understand why the anxiety exists in the first place.
Being horribly ill with no doctor knowing what is wrong creates stress by itself. Add in there just dealing with the medical establishment trying to get just a freaking appointment. When you finally get in to see a doctor about 50% to 75% of them are dismissive of our information. We walk out in tears and frustrated. Somehow we find the energy to search for the next doctor. Somehow we find the energy to fight with our insurance company.
Being horribly ill puts stress on careers. Many in the group are primary breadwinners and are hanging on to the jobs by a bare thread. Others are functioning but at 50% output. Others have had to quit. This puts strain on the finances.
Being horribly ill puts stress on marriages, family, friendships and the list goes on and on. Several of us have lost significant others over this. Others have lost family members. Others have lost friends. There are some of us that have lost all three.
People don’t understand how sick we are. We try to function, but our body just wants to rest. When you do stop to rest because our body just can’t go on anymore for that day (or week), we lay a good guilt trip on ourselves for not being a productive member of society, the family, the relationship.
On top of this, we aren’t getting enough sleep. Our body just wants to sleep a good eight hours without our symptoms flaring or waking us up from a sound sleep. We often are woken up gasping for air or in deep fear after a horrible nightmare. We fear going back to sleep.
We are exhausted not only from lack of sleep and being sick, but also from fighting. Every day it is a fight to be better. Every day you hope for more healing. When you have a setback, you get emotionally drained. It is okay to cry. It is okay to let the tears run down your cheeks uncontrollably. It is okay to cry until you have dry heaves.
BUT! After you have that cry, focus on healing. Read the healing journeys and healing stories that we have scattered throughout this website. Read them again. Read them one more time. Tell yourself that you too will put a healing story on this website. Repeat those words often.
Remember half of the battle was finding us. Now that you’re here, you are on the path to healing. Stay strong!